Big Hair + Big Beard = Big Style

13 08 2013
bearded one-page-0

Meet Hank. His hair is massive, and he’s got style for days.

Did you know that big man hair is back? I mean really big. “What died on your head?” big. I saw on the Tony awards that big man hair is really big in New York, so it’s only a matter of time now before the rest of the country is inundated with beard/hair combos that could hide whole families of lost squirrels, etc. We at badapple salute big-haired guys like our own trailblazer Hank. Who cares if they call you the Unabomber, honey? I certainly don’t!

You know, not every man can get away with this much hair in his life, but those who do are the envy of us all.


St. Valentine’s Day Soup for the Cannibal Chicken’s Soul

31 01 2008

Love is more-than-normally complicated for the perplexed chicken with a taste for… chicken, and the people who love them.

Cannibal chickens have mixed feelings about their double yearnings — for romantic love with another chicken on the one hand and for the gastronomic satisfaction of a barbecued breast and drumstick on the other. 

What with eating other chickens a real taboo among chickens, cannibal chickens typically must limit their romantic interest to other cannibal chickens.  This concentration of cannibal-chicken clans only serves to further distort their dietary freakishness, leading to a potential powder keg of Kentucky-fried cravings.

(Or at least so at my house.)

Anyway, until recently Valentine’s Day was a fairly lonesome affair for many a cannibal chicken who had no means of meeting other cannibal chickens for conversation, sex, or anything in between.  Until now.  Thanks to the Internet, cannibal chickens are making community like never before, on-line and off. 

Today, cannibal chicken raves and speak-easy-style singles bars (known as cluck-easy’s) are increasingly common in more chicken-dense counties.  Any fowl expert will tell you, these bird-eating birds are hooking up, hitching up, and hatching up more… cannibal chickens.

Coming up on Bad Apple in February, you’ll want to stay tuned for our super-sexy Valentines Day feature all about how some lucky cannibal chickens will be spending their V-Day at the most romantic chicken-roast for chickens you can possible imagine.  (Images of hot crackling chicken over a blazing fire and a room of revelling chicken couples toasting to romance and the growing underground cannibal-chicken-restaurant industry).

Then we’ll follow one couple out to a night of partying and dancing, including the first reports ever from inside San Francisco’s hippest cluck-easy’s.

Remember, Bad Apple is the only media outlet that provides any coverage of cannibal chickens, or that even admits they exist.


More future stories in the works:

What it Means to Love a Cannibal Chicken.

Cannibal Chicken Graft Gangs: Community Success Strategies.

To Dress or Not to Dress Your Cannibal Chicken, 5 FAQs


     Want more now?

Visit the original Chicken Soup for the Cannibal Chicken’s Soul book announcement that started it all. 

Visit all Bad Apple stories that mention the Cannibal Chickens.