The doctor said I am a very emotional person, honey

18 12 2012

The doctor said I am a very emotional person.

Understand, she was testing my tender arm nerves with little electric shocks on Frankensteinian equipment.  It seemed perfectly reasonable to me to be sweating in spite of that anti-anxiety pill.

No, she said, people even sleep through the tests.  Really?  It felt like she was sending telegraphs from my funny bone to each of my fingers and all the little towns in between.  I’d rather be pricked by pins any day than to have her play on my nerves again like they were bio-electric guitar strings.  I’m not some robot motherboard ready for a bionic re-wire.  Determined, I finished the tests and dragged my singed nerves home.

Whatever I learned about my arms that day, and they turned out to be in better shape than expected, what I learned about myself is this: According to the doctor, and she should know because she zaps people’s nerves all the time, I am an exceptionally emotional person.  Oh my god!  That explains so much!

All this time, I’ve wondered why me?  Why I have to be me, that is, and such a bad apple?  Why, for example, why do multiple question marks at the end of sentences leave me a twitching mess?   That kind of thing.

I’ve always figured it was because I’m a redheaded freak, which is disorienting enough.  After all, for me irate IS normal.   But now I learn, well into midlife dear reader, that all along these espresso-strength emotions I assumed everyone had are really actually concentrated inside of me in a need-to-add-water proportion.

Sure, I had my suspicions, but it’s official now, the doctor said.  I am a very emotional person.   Do you hear that, Hank?




One response

31 12 2012

It’s always better to have official confirmation of these things, otherwise, people will always wonder if you’re really emotional or just putting on a show!

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