Thank God for Blame

13 12 2012

As the nights get darker and colder and everyone’s brain begins to shut down and go into holiday mode, I find myself turning inward, not unlike a toe nail.  Something about the “season of lights” makes me feel so spiritual, for me anyway.  And I start to counting up my blessings.

I want to thank God for the entire idea and concept of blame.  No matter how effed up things are, no matter what goes wrong, everything is always just a little bit better if you can blame someone, anyone else.

I don’t know about you, but there are few comforts in life as satisfying as when you can blame something bad happening on another person, entity or thing.  Blame provides me so much relief, in fact, that I usually find myself trying to locate external blame for things where clearly none exists.  Fortunately, I’m extremely talented at locating blame, even in the most desperate of situations where it really seems I am the one at fault.

Years of nearly taking the blame have prepared me for finding external blame under the most challenging of conditions.  Sometimes I’m forced, though, to still blame my parents, and that gets more difficult with the passing decades.  (Enjoy this while you’re young, kiddos.)

Blame has been a good friend to me, and though I often stretch credulity even in my own mind to find a good source of blame, understand I truly respect it.  Being able to blame someone like Hank, my boss, my cats, my neighbors — these are things that make my life livable for me.

So in the spirit of the holidays, best blame-worthy wishes to you.  In your darkest hours, may you always find someone else or something to blame.

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One response

13 12 2012
bensbitterblog

I am always on the lookout for people to blame and kids are really good for that. BC (before kids) I would always get blamed, but since then, if I leave something out, or forget to put something away, “honey it was the kids”. My sweet little bullet takers….

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