Yes, Steve Sleeps

13 01 2011

Eyew-aaa, sleeew.

It was the sound, I assumed, of a tooth snoring.  Not just any tooth. It was Steve, the six million dollar tooth, snoozing back behind my bicuspid.

No, six million dollars is not what I personally spent on the tooth – that figure I prefer to forget.  Naturally, with an idea like a six-million dollar tooth you know the government is behind it, spending a whole lot more than even that.

Because Steve, you see, is a Bionic tooth, better faster stronger (or was it farther?). They’d placed it in my jaw before lunch, and already the thing had tried to kill me twice.

Now I was simply trying not to wake it.  Of all the nasty, mean teeth they could have implanted, I had to get one with a bionically bad attitude.

I considered a return to the dentist, but couldn’t. I recall the look on their faces when they denied any government program, any bionic teeth.  I couldn’t go back there.  I can’t believe how hard it is to find a good dentist.  Find one with any skills at all and they have to have some shadow-government secret nasty bionic tooth experiment planned for you.

Think, Badette, Think! Soon the tooth would wake and it would be too late to get any thinking done at all.

I ducked into a corner store and bought some chewing gum.  Maybe I could smother Steve, or at least muffle him.

***

(For more episodes of Steve the bionic six million dollar tooth, see here.)

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