Steve, My Bionic Tooth

20 02 2009

Well, no sooner had Steve and I left the dentist when we got in the first little bit of a good deal of trouble.   I was waiting to cross the street when a little voice in my head said, “JUMP!”  

I refrained from hopping into the oncoming Hummer’s pretty silver grill, but just barely.  What was going on here?   “Who the hell just told me to jump,” I asked the contents of my head.

“That was me,” said Steve, my bionic tooth.  “I just wanted to see how much influence I have on you.”

“Steve,” I said, “Dude, try not to kill me, okay? If I die, they probably will bury you in my mouth.”

“No way,” he said.  “I’m worth six million dollars.  They are not leaving me to rot in your mouth.”

“Listen Steve,” I said, casting about for a better argument. “Maybe you won’t be buried in my mouth, but you are there now, so we should try to get along.”

“Whatever.  Are you always this boring?  I need more action. Can’t you run out in traffic or something?  I like the taste of blood.”

“Oh Steve, this is going to be a long…” and my thoughts trailed off.  A long what?  A long lifetime, that’s what. Steve had been placed in my head for the rest of my days on earth.  My living days on earth, that is.

“JUMP!” he said, as a bus approached.  I considered returning to the dentist that moment, but decided to give it time.  Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot.




2 responses

20 02 2009

Thanks for this next installment. I’m hooked.

20 02 2009
blind in one eye, deaf in the other

Steve is INSANE. I fear now to either think, read or eat. and definitely not all three at once! With his talk of jumping in front of a bus, he gives me the Willys!
Can you possibly change universes, and just have him be a denture, so you can occasionally get some peace?

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