The Future is Fondue

5 01 2008

It’s 2008, and I’m just going about my weekly round of Get Your Ass to Work Days with my nose down and my spirit out to lunch. Soon I may settle down and start contemplating resolutions, but for now all future plans bubble and burble in the primordial ooze of my unconscious, which I imagine to be the texture and flavor of a dairy-free chocolate fondue. 

2008 is going to be great.  It rhymes, so it must be true.  Bad Apple’s gonna break it out in Oh Eight, bet your bippy.  This is the year we become our own super heroes standing on the shoulders of all the super-freaks who’ve ever busted a move sideways and backwards. 

The way I see it, we’ve all got to get working on our inner fondue game, then throw a party that re-invents melting-pot plate tectonics, testing new combinations of ways to enjoy the many unusual pathways to that elusive but inclusive property we all call “delicious.”

Why in heck did god or darwin give us these incredibly-intricate fondue-makers, anyway??  Why provide such a complicated contraption when a simple double-boiler could have done the job?  We moderns barely browse the surface potentiality of our fondueing faculties.  Even Einstein is said to have only used ten percent or so of his appliance.  

It seems we haven’t even stumbled upon the use for 90 percent of the most complicated mechanism the universe ever spat out, and for all we know, 2008 may be the year we discover it!  So let’s all try to eat well and get enough rest so we’re in a good mood when that happens, what do you say?




2 responses

11 01 2008
cat o' eight tails

sounds like you know your way around the world, with the help of a little duct tape and a hydrogen plasma torch. perhaps you could help me with this- i seem to be having some neurological symptoms- i keep on confusing my aquarium with my toaster. soggy toast, fried fish, and all that. what’s your opinion/diagnosis, dr. apple?

13 01 2008

Please, Cat, feel free to call me “Bad.”

Sounds like you may have invented a whole new sandwich paradigm there, but the problem is that you are ahead of your time — at least 6 to 9 months ahead, is my very best guess.

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