When Branding Burns

18 10 2007

When oh when did the language shift, people? When did “selling out” change to “buying in”???  When did people start to sit still for getting branded?  I for one am outta here at the first whiff of burning flesh wafting down the hall, folks.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for turning the Golden Gate Bridge into a giant underground shopping mall. Hell, paint it yellow and turn it into the Golden Arches McDonaldland Play Emporium Bridge if it means we can keep our local Bohemian Club open for the poor ultra rich to send their ruined psyches to summer-camp.  Hey, I’m not a heartless anarchist here.  I believe the children of the ultra privileged deserve just as many Taco Shack tattoos as anyone.

Actually, the problem with corporations is that they haven’t completely taken over yet, so naturally we are all suffering in a state of pre-corperatization.  No wonder no one knows who the hell they are – we have yet to fully embrace our soul brands and  place them at the center of our existence.  Right now, we remain confused as a species about things like God and democracy, but one day soon all that confusion will be cleared away.

Actually, we secretly replaced the world’s democracies with Folder Crystals coffee a few months back, and no one noticed the difference!  Citizens the world round are delighted by Folders Crystals instant coffee in place of the usual, slow-brewed democracy, and in polls people prefer it 20 to one.




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