My Cannibal Chickens’ Summer Vacation

13 09 2007

I’m sorry I haven’t written, but please understand that I had to get the cannibal chickens out of the house for a while.  They were getting extremely testy, threatening to hold cock fights in the living room and behaving just wretchedly. So we threw them in the car, and brought them out to a campground which shut them right up, for  a while anyway.

Imagine my surprise when the ranger came by the first evening and asked me if I had any dogs, cats, or cannibal chickens with me.  “Why yes, yes, sir, as a matter of fact I do have several cannibal chickens right over there in the tent.”

Well, he looked at me like I had told him the mother of all mean bastard chickens was in there.  Stammering, he managed to explain that there’s a $1 fee for dogs, but no fee for cannibal chickens, thanks to the wisdom of our stately bureaucrats here out West.  That really doesn’t seem fair, but seeing as it saved me at least enough to buy the boys some KFC upon our return, well, I can hardly find it in me to lodge a complaint.  I think this is what they mean when they say, “you have to pick your battles.”

After I gave the ranger my check for the campsite, he slowly backed away into the dying evening light.

“Don’t let your cannibal chickens run wild over the campground now, ya hear?” he warned, disappearing down the lane. 

So you can understand now why the long delay since my last post.  But fear not, Bad Apple is revving up for a new season of smashing satire, withering wit, and everything required to reduce the will of the regime to a thin, gummy residue.

 Coming Soon: The Cannibal Chickens dive for abalone!

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10 10 2008
An Extraordinary Flow of Sass « Bad Apple

[…] Okay, I get a lot of cannibal hits — it’s wierd, but it works. The real stars here are the cannibal chickens.  They eat other chickens.  And go camping and stuff. […]

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