Things Aren’t Peaches Here in California

24 08 2007

I feel that probably my whole purpose in life, why I was put here on old planet Earthy, the story my life has to tell may pretty much boil down to this:

Things aren’t peaches here in California.

You see, I was born with a silver spoon pointed directly at my throat. My parents could have starred in their own Horatio Algers mini-series, being among that endangered breed of middle class who scrapped their way up from poverty to enjoy the world-cruise lifestyle. 

Of course, I was raised with all due economy, and never utterly showered with the material – only sprinkled mildly here and there.  My parents specifically did not “spoil” me, but they raised me among the so-thoroughly-rotten that some of that was bound to seep on in.

And it did.  You see, I was born perfectly adorable and mischivious, ripe and ready for a beautiful life.  But when you’re raised in a mold cellar of humanity, well, one’s bouncy life cherry is bound to take one a speck of the gangrene.  Only, I’ve tried to make it seem more like blue cheese, in my case. 

A little rot needn’t be a bad thing, managed properly and mixed with a strong-flavored cheese to begin with.  Anyway, no one gets through this crazy mold cellar without starting to taste a bit funky, that’s one thing I’ve learned. 

But there’s funky and then there’s funky.  Some of us use our bit of rot to cause a stink whereas others merely just stink.  I seem to have just gotten off at the wrong exit on this road of thought, however.  It’ll just a moment while I find the proper on-ramp back to my logic train.

Yeah, California ain’t no paradise, so don’t think like you can move here and heaven will ensue.  For an example of how bad things are, just consider our current epidemic of celebrity politicians.

I think politics have become so alien to people that they fail to understand what politicians are up to.  The problem is so bad here, people actually elect entertainers as politicians!  These same people, by the way, would never in a million years elect their politicians as entertainers.  These voters understand that politicians have no business being funny or touching or trying to sing.  And yet the same voters think the ability to entertain is what qualifies folks for elected officialdom.

Yes, things are bloody nuts here in California, and if I have to live under one more celebrity mayor or celebrity governor I swear I’m going to run for office myself.  In fact, I’ve already started acting lessons, so I’m right on track.




2 responses

18 10 2007
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I will vote for you when you run for office (because you are funny). 😀

2 12 2007

I am happy someone is saying something. I don’t like a society that depends so much on freeways as California. Also, leaders are more interested in other needs besides the true community. Business is also extremely heartless compared to the midwest. They should not just focus on image, but what is truly best for all.

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