Like a City of Trash on a Hill of Trash

17 07 2007

Did you know there’s a floating island of trash north of Hawaii that’s larger than Texas?  That’s right, and somewhere on it, there’s a village missing its idiot, George Bush.

In fact, there’s so much trash congregating in the Pacific that experts predict underwater trash mountains will soon lead to new trash islands, and not just the floating kind.  In related news, Disneyland is considering adding a Trash Mountain ride to their California Adventure Park. (Imagine the thrill of coming within centimeters of being pricked with a used hypodermic needle!)

In even more other news, the scientists have discovered all sorts of species are catching a ride on the ocean trash train and setting out for new shores.  I’m sure this is a real piss off for those immigration reformers who feel everyone should just stay put wherever they happen to be born.

Yes, we don’t get enough trash news in the West, only celebrity trash news.  We have to look to Pravda to find out about our great freaking island of trash!  I mean if that isn’t one of the major manmade wonders of the world, my middle name isn’t Censorship Sal.

Actually, unlike Greenpeace, I think the island of trash is humanity’s best hope.  We simply wait until it becomes a continent of trash, and then we form a new nation on top of the tampon applicators and easy-pic toothpicks of yesterday. It will be like a city of trash on a hill of trash, but we won’t let any new trash in — and only the best trash will be allowed to stay.  Sorry, George.

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One response

17 07 2007
Marian

Interesting. I think you have absolutely right.


Clay Combat

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