Cross-Site Pimping Solves Death-Threat Placement Woes

9 07 2007

I was really upset about getting my first death threat blog comment last week.   I mean, it was a perfectly good death threat and completely legitimate — I promise you I didn’t send it to myself.  What irked me was where my would-be assassin chose to place the threat — hidden away on some obscure page on my cat blog.  Who was ever going to see it there? 

So there I was, the recipient of a perfectly fine death threat, all the proof I needed that finally I was somebody, and I had to let it pend for days and days, wondering what to do about this little matter of context. 

During this same period, as it happens, it came to my attention that I hadn’t been properly cross-pimping my blogs.  For all I knew, there could cats looking for help at Bad Apple, and at the same time, some real rotters trying to figure out life over at Self Help for Cats, when what each of these fools folks needed was me to properly cross-pimp, and set everything straight.

So, brilliant readers, I’m sure you see where this is going…  I’m placing my first death threat below, along with a little response to it I came up with all by myself.  And if you happen to be a cat, or know one, you probably should get over to Self Help for Cats, but please return here to Bad Apple to leave any death threats — if you don’t mind.

So here it is, my very first death threat:

STEVEN ERICK | nukesubmariner@hotmail.com | PresidentoftheUnitedStates | IP: 205.188.117.73

YOU ARE GOING TO DIE IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER BY THIS GOVERNMENT FOR DEVIL WORSHIP AND STEALING CATS TO SELL IN INDIA…YOU ARE IN VERY BIG TROUBLE ***********************

And here is Bad Apple’s response:

Dear Steve,

Thanks for taking the time to send me my first death threat.  I didn’t expect it so soon in my career, but I promise not to let this early show of success go to my head.

Steve, first of all, was that an attempt at humor when you said “immediately if not sooner”?  If so — good one!  Second of all, Steve, where did you get the idea I worship the Devil?  I never mentioned that. 

Steve, the part about stealing cats to sell in India — I didn’t find that funny one bit.  And in fact, I plan to look into it, Steve, and if I find out you’ve been stealing cats to sell in India then you are going to be in seriously deep yogurt, mister.

Finally, Steve, one last request: Please try to consider where you place the death threat on the site when you leave a death threat.  Context is everything, man.  I’m just trying to be helpful, so don’t bite my head off and please STOP SHOUTING!

Sincerely,

Bad Apple

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One response

24 02 2008
scosauddy

To me it is necessary to find

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