Should July Fourth Become “First Friday in July”?

4 07 2007

Today, we Americans celebrate what we call our independence, and unfortunately, because the fathers of our nation didn’t have enough foresight, we have to do it on a Wednesday. 

Sure, it’s great how they wanted to kick out the British and try out some self-governance for real. Yeah, super. But why, oh why, I ask, did they have to pick the Fourth of July, when they could have just as easily chosen to say “the First Friday in July”??  That’s good enough for Easter and Thanksgiving, and it would have meant three-day weekends for working schmucks for years to come, instead of having to live under the dictates of the arbitrary calendar.  How free and independent is that?

I’m sorry to rain on your barbeque, fellows, but it’s plain awkward to have a mid-week day off.  Here I just started a run of Get Your Ass to Work Day holidays, then I have to stop and have a non-Get Your Ass to Work Day holiday, that is,  an actual holiday, then, tomorrow, another round of Get Your Ass to Work.  This isn’t making me feel the independence, boys.  For that, I need at least two non-Get Your Ass to Work Days in a row.

I sort of get the feeling that my nation’s forefathers never worked a 9 to 5 job in their life and that they didn’t celebrate Get Your Ass to Work Day as we know it.  When I start to think that way, I wonder just whose independence those guys declared?  It’s all downhill from there, and not where my love of American revolutionary ideals wants to take me.  Bad Apple still manages to bleed red, white and blue, don’t be mistaken.

So what do you say, America, Australia, World?  Are we going to let the strange, antiquated ideas of men who would be like 300-years old now tell us what day of the week to celebrate our independence, or what?

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5 responses

4 07 2007
distorted

If you’re really bold, you can always consider simply not returning to work on Thursday and Friday. That’s a 5-day weekend. Unfortunately most of us don’t work jobs that afford us such luxury. Only in a perfect world.

5 07 2007
badapple

Thanks, distorted, you are so right. Old Jonny Hancock would have been bold enough to take his five-day weekend, that’s for sure.

5 07 2007
FIAR

Whoo hoo! 5day weekend!

6 07 2007
arnoldthemethodical

As I am British I would just like to offer to pop over the water between us take back the American colonies. There will be a bit of flag waving then you can push me in a puddle and we can start over. You can then declare Independance WEEK .

6 07 2007
badapple

Arnold, that sounds awful conciliatory – how you’re volunteering to be pushed in a puddle and all, but once your take-back occurs, what guarantee do I have that it would be so easy to get rid of you? Thanks, but I think I’ll pass on this clever scheme, Mr. Methodical.

As for FIAR’s exclamation – no one can teach you about the true meaning of liberty, my friend. And speaking of liberty, it happens to be Friday state-side, and holiday or no, I’m declaring my right to life, liberty, and happy hour in oh, just under seven hours. Whoo Hoo, indeed! Now I must go back to my wage slavery work. Chow for now.

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