Putrid Foulness: Our Best Hope for Humanity?

7 06 2007

Ever noticed how nothing on Earth gets people politically activated faster than a really foul stink? Democracy may have eroded away beyond recognition in the breast of most of us overly-entertained and utterly-distracted citizens of the first world, and we may allow the powers that want-to-be to really screw things up for everyone, just as long as things don’t begin to actually reek.

But watch out world, because once offense occurs on an olfactory level, there’s nothing that can put our Yankee Doodle dandy back in the box, at least not until things return to smell-o-librium.

Now usually, all of the worst smelling things in life are dead, and normally they get well buried away to keep everything running smoothly up here on surface Earth. But ever so often, something goes haywire and a whale washes up on some beach to stink for weeks while the bureaucrats shrug. Or that really smelly rendering plant gets a little too close to the encroaching neighborhoods, and suddenly you have a mini-American revolution all over again – citizens finding their voices on behalf of their noses. It’s enough to bring a tear to this freedom daughter’s eye.

Remember, a foul-scented inspiration is an inspiration nonetheless, and we spoiled modern humans need to find something that will inspire us to progress. After all, there are a lot of terrible things that come in through the eyes and ears that one can ignore, justify, and shirk-off, but a rancid smell of death and decay is not the kind of everyday atrocity that is so effortlessly filtered.

The human race cannot afford to look down our noses at this promising link between popular power and the schnaz – let us instead use our noses to direct the leaders who would lead us by our noses. Adding an olfactory component to politics could only effect growth and change for the better, and to that end, I say bring on the Smell-O-Vision – if only for the sake of the news. If Americans could just smell our foreign policy for once, I know we wouldn’t stand for it one more stinking repulsive minute!

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2 responses

26 06 2007
Jenny R

except for one time animal control said they were too busy to pick up the dead raccoon we put on the side of the sidewalk and it stank up our street for at least 2 weeks in July.
Love, Jenny

26 06 2007
badapple

Thanks, Jenny, for your exception to the rule. I’m trying to figure out what went wrong with your racoon. Did you all make a big enough stink about it? Or maybe the racoon itself didn’t present a large enough olfatory offense? Perhaps it takes a whole dead whale to get the community up in arms. I suspect that common roadkill like your racoon friend travels under the radar of scent-based democracy. Anyone else care to fathom a guess?

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