Of Famous Messed-Up Girls

3 06 2007

Isn’t it terrible what fame and fortune does to pretty little girls? The poor things are always being shown going in and out of rehab, divorcing some ape, or flashing pink to the paparazzi. Why if those nasty camera people would just let them alone, they could settle into a normal life of early adulthood self-destruction, just like any other messed-up rich people.

I mean really, let s/he who is without sin cast the first stone, and if we are completely honest with ourselves, haven’t we all been there, folks? I want you to dig deep inside and ask yourself: Who in this room hasn’t driven the wrong way down the 134 freeway in the middle of the night?

Here’s another question: Right now, if you were given all the money you could ever want, and the world suddenly adored you so much that it fed itself on the delicate facts of your day-to-day existence, and if your words were always quoted, your deeds documented, and you had someone else to cross all your t’s and dot your i’s, well, then I ask you, what then? What would you do with your one beautiful life?

Don’t we all like to think we would be Gandhi? But pretty princesses from the burbs seldom find themselves burdened with a deep need to change the world in any fundamental way. Again, who of us can blame them, considering this incredible world of extravagant consumption seems to have been created just for them — the rich, the young, the shallow?

The fact these girls squander their youth on dope and drink, meet and marry terrible guys, and expose parts of themselves that most of us would not survive, well, what does that say about the material world? It says that “having everything” doesn’t just not make you happy, it actually fucks you up. And we all know it’s fucking up the planet, too.

So what are we to do about these stupid, destructive little girls running the fucking planet?? That’s the question I really want to ask, as it turns out.




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