Baby Needs Salt

22 05 2007

Nina Plank, the author of a book called Real Food, recently caught my eye with her statement: “Babies are built from protein, fat, cholesterol, and fish oil.”

Naturally, with a “baby recipe” that unorthodox, I recognized that this wasn’t my mother’s baby cookbook!  (I think that Nina is probably a baby boomer, too, but I wouldn’t even take a wild guess as to how many babies she’s boomed.)

Frankly though, Nina, I think you may want to dress this baby up a bit, as it’s not stimulating my salivary glands as is.  Baby needs a little salt, I think. Maybe with a little mayo between sourdough slices, I could swallow your gross fish-oil flavored baby – maybe, but then again maybe you haven’t hit upon your genre yet.  The remainder pile is filled with food authors who should have tried horror like you. 

That reminds me of a recipe for authors in the wrong genre: Take one parboiled food writer, puree their to-do list and serve it over a well-fried hard-drive at the stroke of mid-sentence.  Yum!

Still, Nina’s simple recipe for baby does bring me back to a delightful afternoon of offensive limerick-writing inspired by a very-family Thanksgiving.  That’s due to the only surviving limerick of that fine day:

Turkey’s on the table,
Baby’s in the oven,
Hey, I was first in line,
Better quit your shovin’!!!!!

Stay tuned next week for the first installment of my lard-slathered Baby Loaf Cheese Roast — just in time for the warm weather!

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2 responses

20 06 2007
cavenoid

Mmm. I want my babybackbabybackbabyback RIIIIIIIBS!

21 06 2007
badapple

Dear Cavenoid,
Thanks for placing this appropriate but annoying jingle back in my consciousness. I’ll be humming it all day now.

I’m so glad that someone finally commented about “Baby Needs Salt.” The fact that you’re a mom — well, that’s just icing on the cake! I bet you’re a great mom, sincerely.
Thanks again,
BA

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