Just Fell Off Pumpkin Truck, Please Send Ten Grand

28 03 2007

The following is my ode to all the creative scam artists out there, who teach me that if you just write your heart out, the money will clearly follow.
      

Dear Sir/Madame,     

I’m writing to report to you that I just fell off the pumpkin truck and am assured a fortune in legal winnings if only you can lend me $10,000 to get started.  You’ll surely make $10 million from such a wise investment.  In case you were wondering, I was born yesterday and, being so fresh off the boat, I’m assured of getting extra points for the pure inculpability of my gullibility.       

In a side suit, are you aware that the word “gullible” is not in the dictionary?  I will most certainly make another billion for this incredible liability oversight on the part of the English dictionary-writing conglomerate.  For just $15,000 you can buy yourself a piece of the action.     

If you believe this, then you should know, I’m an African prince and cannot get my vast inheritance out of my country without your help.  For a mere $20k, I will split my zillions with you halfsies.  In a related matter, I have a friend in Bankgok (sic) in the exact same situation, and I’d be happy to deliver your cash to him.     

Please understand, these matters need your utmost attention. You do not want to miss out – each is a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Unfortunately, if I don’t hear from you in the next five minutes with your down payment, my email address is set to self-destruct.       

Yours truly,     

Prince Ali Bobo            

PS. For a small fee, I am available to update all your online banking records.  Please send all your secret pin codes and credit card expiration dates to me quick like a bunny, before this special deal flies the coop.

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