Meat Your Match: Innocent Internet Quiz Step One to Hanky Panky

27 03 2007

So this is how the torrid affair begins.  All I did was try to find out what type of meat I am.  Now I’m getting personal ads in my email from vivacious singles who live right down the street.   

Let me assure you, I’m an innocent in all of this. One minute I was reading about why I’m corned beef, next thing I know some guy screen-named “goyum” is well, add your own racy meat metaphor here.  Ready to slip me his sausage.  Makin’ Bacon.  Something crude about a ham sandwich. 

Probably happens all the time, this kind of unintentional meat-up orchestrated by Internet matchmakers with a big streak of entree-prey-neur.  I wonder what they get out of hooking me up to this virtual meat market?  I never said I was lookin’.  All I did wrong was take an Internet quiz that promised to tell me what type of meat is my spiritual advisor.

Naturally, it was a little disappointing to find out my life is guided by the spirit of corned beef.  It’s not a glamorous kind of meat — it’s all overdone and discolored and has to be slathered with mustard to make it edible.  At least, that’s my initial reaction, which I’m sure will change once I embrace my inner over-cooked cabbage and mashed potatoes.

As for those searching singles right here, so close in my vicinity, and just a send-button away.  Well, so far, I haven’t taken the bait on the singles ads, but just reading about these available hunks so close is sort of an eye-opener. The Internet’s just one big slippery slope of good times, eh? 

Anyway, now that you are warned, if you still have the burning desire to find out what kind of meat you are, or just want to meat up with somebody who does, you can take the meat quiz here.   The truth is, the quiz was very biting. I suspect it was written by another vegetarian. 




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