Girls Are Grody, Clorox Reports

16 02 2007

Girls may be made of sugar and spice and everything nice, but apparently that’s a lot more disgusting than snails and puppy-dog tails if you consider the amount of germs they leave behind.

The latest news on the germ front, ladies, is that our desk drawers have SEVEN times more germs than men’s desks. The news could make the more germ-phobic among us consider a sex change, or at least boiling one’s hands at regular intervals-that is, if you believe this study and don’t attribute it to some conspiracy to sell us more bleach.

After all, what is the point behind a study to see which gender is the filthiest, other than to be rather insulting to women? Why, to sell us more germicide, of course, even though by the sounds of it we will never get to the bottom of all the grody bacteria and moldering viruses that pollute the places we put our hands daily – yech!

Anyway, I certainly don’t have time to sterilize my paper clip collection, even if they do show traces of last month’s soup I spilled on them. And so what if my keyboard collects crumbs like a second placemat, it’s still typing, and I’m still here using it despite the staggering number of micro organisms living on the “a” key alone.

What doesn’t kill me now only makes me stronger or kills me later. And what bleach doesn’t kill only gets strong enough to kill me later, too. So, really, what’s the point knowing females gather filth at a rate totally eclipsing male filth? If God wanted me to worry about all this bacteria, she wouldn’t have made them so invisible.




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