Well, no sooner had Steve and I left the dentist when we got in the first little bit of a good deal of trouble. I was waiting to cross the street when a little voice in my head said, “JUMP!”
I refrained from hopping into the oncoming Hummer’s pretty silver grill, but just barely. What was going on here? ”Who the hell just told me to jump,” I asked the contents of my head.
“That was me,” said Steve, my bionic tooth. ”I just wanted to see how much influence I have on you.”
“Steve,” I said, “Dude, try not to kill me, okay? If I die, they probably will bury you in my mouth.”
“No way,” he said. “I’m worth six million dollars. They are not leaving me to rot in your mouth.”
“Listen Steve,” I said, casting about for a better argument. “Maybe you won’t be buried in my mouth, but you are there now, so we should try to get along.”
“Whatever. Are you always this boring? I need more action. Can’t you run out in traffic or something? I like the taste of blood.”
“Oh Steve, this is going to be a long…” and my thoughts trailed off. A long what? A long lifetime, that’s what. Steve had been placed in my head for the rest of my days on earth. My living days on earth, that is.
“JUMP!” he said, as a bus approached. I considered returning to the dentist that moment, but decided to give it time. Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot.
Thanks for this next installment. I’m hooked.
Steve is INSANE. I fear now to either think, read or eat. and definitely not all three at once! With his talk of jumping in front of a bus, he gives me the Willys!
Can you possibly change universes, and just have him be a denture, so you can occasionally get some peace?