For all my life I’d like to write a nice normal post about how great my writing career is going over on my straight-person Website, but it always sounds so lame and I end up back over here at Bad Apple with a twisted-up lampoon of what I had started.
That’s probably because my writing career isn’t going all that well, people, and my best writing can’t hide that fact, even from myself. And I’ve noticed lately that in this particular time and space and planet, life pounds on like a 24-7 shit storm, and it’s just barely possible to extract a positive number of calories while securing a home and two shoes that appear to match — socks and underware — the whole nine hundred and ninety-nine fucking yards.
One thing I know, though, is that however hellacious the toxic dump of my attitude may wreak right now, tomorrow is another day, and not JUST another day, friends, but a whole new year! And I’m confident that once my eyes pop open in the new annum, I’ll be a new girl in a new world.
So in 2009, I look forward to days of long blissful moments in between publishing my novels, weekends at the ranch in Yosemite with Salman Rushdie, a stream of chocolates, accolades, controversies and awards, and happy little posts from paradise. May it happen to you, too!!
Well, the Jan. 4 Food Poisoning of the Bad Apple does NOT qualify as “rivers of chocolate” or even “controversy.” Do you think Salman Rushdie has to suffer this kind of crap?
2009 — in with a barf. “Very auspicious” says my friend the Tokyo Crow.